


i call shotgun

by burnsidesjulia



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Irresponsible Use of Carey's Lightning Breath, Lesbians, Light-Hearted Bullying, Making Out, Mid-Canon, Recreational Drug Use, Shotgunning, fantasy weed is a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-10 23:29:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13512018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burnsidesjulia/pseuds/burnsidesjulia
Summary: “I invited you over tonight so you could get high, Kills. I’m not gonna have more weed for like another month. Do you know how hard it is to smuggle drugs in past Avi? You’vegottado it tonight.”carey invites killian over to smoke. they get lost in each other.





	i call shotgun

Killian is watching closely, perhaps too closely, as Carey lifts the pipe to her mouth. Carey raises an eyebrow. “What?” she asks, muffled around the glass. Killian shrugs. “I dunno. I’m just watching.”

“That’s fine,” Carey answers, and she looks away to focus on the bowl. She flicks his lighter on and holds it down, lighting the pipe. She sucks in until she can’t anymore, holding it in her chest. Killian is still watching. When she can’t hold it any longer, Carey lets out her breath. The air in the room goes foggy as smoke pours from her mouth. A familiar burn builds in her throat, a cough lodged in her lung. She smacks her lips. Shitty weed, but it gets the job done.

“Isn’t the smoke bad for you?” Killian asks softly, very unlike her usual boisterous self, and Carey rolls her eyes. Killian is totally new to smoking, unlike almost everyone else in the Bureau: Lucretia does it, or at least _used_ to, sometime in the shady past which she refuses to disclose. Boyland grows it, and supplies to Carey sometimes. Taako does it to look cool, Merle’s probably been smoking for as long as he’s been able to breathe, and Magnus denies it to hell and back but Carey’s seen his bong, tucked carefully beneath his bed. Carey does it to unwind, and then Killian- well, Killian is still staring with wide, dark eyes, shy in a way that Carey has never seen her before. And that says enough.

“I mean, it’s not _good_ ,” Carey settles for a response, and Killian bites her lips anxiously. Carey rolls her eyes. “I breathe lightning sometimes, Kills. Do you really think it’s that big of a deal?” Killian shrugs sheepishly, and Carey wets her lips with a long tongue and offers the pipe to Killian. “Interested?” Killian blinks back at it blankly. “I’ve never smoked before.” Carey scoffs. “Oh yeah, because I couldn’t tell that from the _everything _about you, rockbrain. C'mon, Kills, there’s a first time for everything.”__

__“Well,” Killian responds, and her brow furrows. She wraps her thick fingers around the neck of the pipe, but doesn’t take it from Carey quite yet. “I don’t know how to… do it.”_ _

__Carey wants to laugh, but Killian looks legitimately fragile right now. And besides, she can’t help but remember her own first time. She burnt the end of an entire claw off the first time she lit a joint, and choked on ash when she inhaled too fast. Killian not knowing how to do it is better than Carey did, which was just pretend that she was a pro when she was clueless. Instead of laughing, she closes Killian’s fist around the pipe gingerly. “It’s easy. It’ll be especially easy for you, since I’ll teach you and I’m basically the best at drugs.” Killian cracks an easy smile at that. Carey smiles back, and sits back on her knees. “Put the pipe to your mouth.” Silence, and then Killian asks, “Which end?”_ _

__“The side that’s not full of weed. Come on, dude.” Killian shrugs it off bashfully. “Yeah. Shoulda figured.” She puts the pipe against her mouth, and then blinks impatiently back at Carey. Carey gestures vaguely, trying to figure out how to direct someone through this. She settles for putting her lighter in Killian’s hand, lifting it to the end of the pipe. “Okay, I usually just lightning the shit out of it but for you... I guess you just light it up?” Killian’s heavy brow creases again. “I don’t get it.”_ _

__“Killian, you’re like the most competent Bureau employee there is. How can you not figure out how to rip from a pipe?”_ _

__“ _Because_ I’m a competent employee, fucknuts,” Killian complains with an edge to her voice, and she takes the pipe away from her mouth. Carey shakes her head and pushes it back to her mouth. “Just hold it there. I’ll light it for you. Breathe in while I’m lighting it, and hold the smoke in your chest, not your mouth.” Killian lifts her free hand and flips Carey off, but nods to tell her to light it up. Carey tosses the lighter away to the side, opens her mouth and focuses- a small blue ball of electricity jumps from her mouth. She leans forward and spits it, lighting the bowl for Killian. Killian takes about a two second inhale before coughing, smoke jumping from her lips in shaky bursts. She pulls the pipe away, and sticks her wide tongue out. It’s covered in ash, and Carey has to hold back another laugh. Killian wipes it off on her wrist and shrugs. “I clearly can’t do it. This isn’t gonna work out.”_ _

__“I invited you over tonight so you could get high, Kills. I’m not gonna have more weed for like another month. Do you know how hard it is to smuggle drugs in past Avi? You’ve _gotta_ do it tonight.” Killian shakes her head and gives the pipe back to Carey. “I don’t feel like sucking more ash, Carebear. You feel free.”_ _

__Carey takes the pipe back, and thinks about it hard. She wants to get Killian high. For a lot of reasons. She likes corrupting innocent souls, and she wants to see Killian stoned. She imagines she’d giggle a lot. The idea of Killian giggling is one that Carey holds very close to her heart. There’s gotta be some way. She considers this while she takes a few more hits, side-eyeing Killian the whole time. Killian is pretty. In a very unconventional way, perhaps, but pretty._ _

__It takes some deep thinking, and a definitely half-stoned mind to figure it out, but Carey comes up with an idea. An idea that is, in fact, so brilliant, that she starts giggling. Carey is one of _those_ people when she gets stoned, and so once she starts, she can’t find it in herself to stop. After she’s been laughing to herself for about ten seconds, Killian begins to take notice, and that makes her laugh harder. Killian is so cute, her nose crinkled and her eyes concerned. Carey adores the look on her face. Carey adores Killian._ _

__Oh fuck, yeah, right- _Killian_. Getting Killian high._ _

__“Killian, let me clarify-” Carey says, deep and slurred, she can tell he’s getting to the good point here. Killian’s eyebrows are still raised in concern. Carey’s fingers itch to massage away the crease between them. She shakes the thought away. “Let me clarify- you don’t wanna smoke ‘cause you’re bad at the pipe, yeah?”_ _

__Killian’s face flushes, and her eyebrows scoot into a crook that suggests crossness. Carey considers that maybe wording it to call her _bad_ at it wasn’t necessary, but Carey’s foggy brain couldn’t puzzle it any other way. Despite this and the fact that she’s still staring dull daggers at Carey, Killian nods. “Yeah. That’s why.” Carey feels her grin- which she wasn’t aware she’d had in the first place- widen. “Cool. Cool. So you still wanna get high though, right?”_ _

__“I can’t,” Killian responds. Carey feels a scoff form on her mouth, but she wisely holds it in. Silly orc. Silly Killian. There’s always another way._ _

__“Don’t call me silly or I’ll destroy you,” Killian scolds, putting on her dad voice. Ah, shit. Carey was speaking out loud. Okay, yeah, she’s stoned._ _

__“Sorry,” Carey says. “Sorry. But, I know another way, and it really works. You don’t have to use the pipe.” Killian raises an eyebrow, really badly. Killian can’t raise her eyebrows separately, but she tries so hard it’s cute. Cute cute cute. Carey really likes Killian._ _

__“Carey? Are you gonna tell me how or not?” Okay, Carey is losing track of time. Hmph. Okay. Focus on words, focus on- on-_ _

__“What the everloving fuck is shotgunning?”_ _

__Carey smiles. Killian, Killian, Killian. Poor sweet innocent Killian. She’s about to ruin her._ _

__“It’s where I take the hit-” Carey holds up a finger to tell Killian to wait. She puts the finger down to form another ball of lightning and blast the end of the pipe, now blackened with ash and the glass smoldering softly. She lights up and takes her time inhaling, savoring this._ _

__Carey blows all the smoke out while she speaks. It forms a curtain between her and Killian, and she can’t see Killian’s face when she says, “and then I blow all the smoke into your mouth. It’ll get us both high.” There is a long pause as the smoke clears, and Carey finds Killian with creased brows again, a weird look on her face. Cute. Cute, but concerning, because Carey doesn’t think she’s ever seen this look before._ _

__“Killian?” she prods gently. She just wants that look to go away, or at least understand it. It’s starting to make her heart break, Killian looks so confused. Maybe Carey shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe she made Killian uncomfortable, ruined this wonderful moment, maybe-_ _

__“Carey,” Killian says gently, “if you… if you wanted to kiss me you could’ve just asked, bro.” Carey blinks at Killian blankly, and then starts laughing again. Relief, or shock, or maybe the fact that Killian said ‘kiss’ and ‘bro’ in the same breath, Carey doesn’t know. But she laughs until her gut hurts, and then a bit longer. Killian stays staring._ _

__“It’s not kissing,” Carey clarifies, still chuckling through her breathing. It is nice of Killian to offer, and sure, Carey has thought about it, about Killian’s soft pink lower lip, about her smile, her sharp teeth nipping at her- but it’s not kissing. So. “It’s not kissing,” Carey repeats. “It’s just a way to get stoned.” Carey waggles the pipe at Killian almost tauntingly. “Are you in or out?”_ _

__There is a pause. It must feel much longer to someone under the influence, because to Carey, it lasts an hour or two. But Killian nods decisively and says, “In. Get me stoned, Carey Fangbattle.”_ _

__“Call me by my full name again and I’ll-” Carey doesn’t know what she’ll do. Punch her? Kiss her? The two seem the same amount of normal now. Carey trails off, and doesn’t finish her sentence. Instead, she tightens up the bowl with the top of a claw, packing it, and then puts it to her mouth. She gives Killian one last look of questioning, and Killian answers with another nod. Carey nods back, and lights up. She takes a long inhale, long enough to make her lung scream at her. The tightness builds as she moves toward Killian, leaning on her hands and knees. She’s so close to her, her chest is so tight, Killian looks so cute, she _always_ looks so cute, damn it-_ _

__Their lips brush gently. Killian kind of gasps, and Carey feels that gasp all through her in the form of a shiver. Holy shit. Carey starts to exhale, and the smoke pours out of the gaps between their lips. Killian just- Killian grabs Carey by the back of the head and pulls her closer. Carey moves similarly, tangling sharp claws carefully in the hair loose from Killian’s braid. She breathes, focuses on moving the smoke forward into Killian’s mouth, but she’s unclear if the heart she feels pounding is hers or Killian’s. They’re so close, so intertwined that it seems impossible to tell. Killian is breathing in, but at the same time she’s cocking her head, leaning in for more, and Carey isn’t sure if she’s just looking for her high or if she’s trying to _make out_ with her. When they finally pull away, Carey has to gasp for air. Killian’s eyes are glazed. Her hands are still tangled in Killian’s hair._ _

__“Woah,” Killian says, her voice full of wonder. Carey nods. “Woah,” she agrees, and finds the same note of longing and rapturous joy in her own voice._ _

__“Can we- can we do that again?” Killian asks softly. Carey smiles. Killian smiles back, and she isn’t sure if it’s the drugs, but her heart feels flooded. Heavy, thick, full of Killian. She smiles more than she thought was possible. And with that, she takes another huge rip, and kisses Killian again._ _

__Time passes in a smoggy blur. Carey feels weak under Killian’s hands, her grip so powerful and warning. She knew her best friend was strong but has never felt it so clearly, so presently, but at the same time so _gently_. Her and Killian train together. Killian’s ruthless. Killian's never been this soft before. There’s a gentle exchange of scraping teeth, the both of them a bit too eager to press against the other but pretending to be unperturbed. Killian makes a noise deep in her chest, low and throaty, and it almost sounds aroused. Carey can’t help but sound off in response, a low purr that hums through her body. Killian makes a surprised noise at that, and raises her hand to Carey’s chest to feel. She pulls back, missing out on half the hit but eyes already glassy. “You _purr_ ,” she notes, her voice nearing ecstatic, and Carey laughs. “No shit,” she responds, breaking up the low purr noise emanating from her. Killian’s eyes are practically twinkling. “That’s… so _cute_ ,” she admits, stroking her hand down Carey’s torso. Carey laughs, trying to ignore the warmth spreading in her veins. “You’re high already,” she scoffs, meaning it as an insult. _ _

__“And you’re pretty,” Killian responds, grinning at her. Carey feels warmth blossom on her face. “Shut up,” she says, and readies the pipe to take another hit. Killian watches intently, just like she did before, but now Carey can’t help but note the flush in her cheeks, the light in her eyes. She closes her eyes as if trying to shut it out, to distance herself. Damn it, she likes Killian a _lot_. She presses back in to give Killian another taste- to take another taste herself._ _

__They entangle themselves in each other. Killian’s mouth is big and warm against Carey’s cool skin, and they’re breathing in each other like it’s oxygen and they need it to survive. Carey’s mind is racing, but only saying Killian- she’s never felt this before. Her and Boyland have shotgunned before, but it was nothing like this. Nothing like this pulling, this tugging at her heart that swears it needs out of her chest, that it’s going to explode or get bigger or do something because it needs to get closer to Killian. She’s so screwed, so absolutely _boned _, and she can’t even tell how Killian is reacting other than getting slowly high, can’t tell if she’s enjoying this or relishing it like Carey is, just can tell that she’s not pulling away when her mouth is empty of smoke. Glory glory, hallelujah, Killian isn’t pulling away. Killian is, in fact, pushing in closer, and then she’s wrapping her arms around Carey’s slender form. Gods. Gods help her.___ _

____“Killian?” she asks, halfway into her mouth and sloppy, and Killian doesn’t respond with words. Killian responds with a tongue, warm and thick, pressing between Carey’s jaws. Carey inhales sharply, letting herself feel everything. Her body is on fire with the high, tingling and twinkling that pop off like small fireworks across her scales. Her head is fuzzy, and Killian’s arms are strong behind her, squeezing gently. Carey slips her tongue back into Killian’s mouth, and they share for a beautiful moment, learning the language of each other’s teeth. Killian pulls back just a bit, bumps their foreheads together. “I like your weird lizard tongue,” she reports, smiling her toothy, bared grin. “It feels cool.”_ _ _ _

____“You can feel more of it,” Carey offers bravely, “if you come back over here.” She beckons Killian with a claw, and hazy-eyed, heavy-lidded, beautiful, beautiful Killian follows, tilting her head and pressing in for more, like she wants it, gods, Killian _wants_ Carey. Carey hadn’t realized it so presently before, but she’s wanted Killian, too. And now she has her. And it’s… it’s nice. It’s nice because it’s simple and easy. It feels natural. It feels like Killian has been kissing Carey all her life. And it’s nice._ _ _ _

____Killian gets grabby. Her hands go from open palms, inviting, to grasping at Carey’s tight tanktop, pulling the fitted material tight in her fists. Carey allows herself to invite it, to let herself be pulled in tighter, handled roughly, ignoring the fact that Killian is high, not thinking straight, doing stupid things just for the sake of being stupid. Carey’s high too, but she knows that everything she’s feeling is real, and would be just as real if she was sober. So she lets herself forget that Killian must not feel the same. Otherwise, why haven’t they been doing this since forever ago? Since they first met? Since Carey first laid eyes on the beautiful orc pulling at her clothes?_ _ _ _

____Carey finds herself atop Killian’s wide body, nearly straddling her. She would be if that was possible, but her legs simply aren’t long enough. Killian is still kissing her, wanting her, and she says in a low voice, “I can’t believe this is happening.” Carey’s heart leaps into her mouth at the absolute _sugar_ coating Killian’s voice, something she’s never heard before._ _ _ _

____“I can’t believe you want to kiss me,” Carey responds, wholly truthful. Killian smiles against her mouth. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time, stupid.”_ _ _ _

____“I’m not stupid, asshole,” Carey answers, but she can’t hold back a grin. Her whole body is smiling at Killian. She thinks she could fall for Killian like this, wonders if she already has. And then, quieter, she asks, “Killian, are you high?”_ _ _ _

____“I think so,” Killian says, wetting her lips with the tip of her tongue. “I think yes.”_ _ _ _

____Carey pauses. Even softer, she asks, “Are you going to regret this when you wake up in the morning?”_ _ _ _

____“I could never regret you, lizard girl,” Killian mutters._ _ _ _

____“Don’t fucking call me that,” Carey responds, but she’s still smiling. Carey smiles, and she kisses Killian again, again, again, smoke clouding up the room, their minds, and their two beating hearts._ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> my first finished taz fic! it is possible that i will never love another fictional couple like i love carey and killian. as a lesbian myself, to see them end happily was. such a relief and a beautiful thing. i love my two butch gfs.
> 
> im rilexander on tumbls. message me about taz because no one i know will talk to me abt it :/


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